From the book Equilibrium: 31 Ways to Stay Balanced on Life’s Uneven Surface.

Wave goodbye to the past. That’s not always easy. It takes time. And work. And help—from God and ourselves and others.

I’m writing these words as I sit in my car. I parked it in the parking lot of my former elementary school. I still smell lemonade, homemade ice cream, coffee for my parents, cookies from my neighbor. I still see Christmas decorations, my shots toward the basketball goal, Mama passing me the football, my sisters engaged in conversations. I still hear my father’s tone of voice, my bicycle’s wheels rushing their way to my grandparent’s house, music in the living room, a dog barking down the road.

I’m remembering. I’m processing reasons I made many poor decisions and many good decisions. I wish earlier in life I had understood the importance of identifying the why, not just the what. Grasping the reasons behind my reactions could have taught me much more much sooner.

But, like all of us in these unstable paths of life, I leaned along the edges while learning. And I am thankful many of my past hurts are no longer controlling my life.

What about you? Is your present life a balance of facing your story’s previous chapters while not letting each sentence be controlled by them? Face them. Let God grace them as you seek help, release your hurt in healthy ways, and believe your past can truly be the past.


What are the deepest hurts you’ve experienced in your life? How have those painful experiences influenced you? How are they still influencing you? What suggestions do you offer yourself about not letting pains from the past control your present and future decisions?


Watch a movie or read a book about of a biography where a character experienced deep hurt but chose to move on. Think of how that relates to your story. Your own memoir is still occurring. Be intentional. Make choices influenced by the right voices. Seek healing correctly, safely, appropriately, biblically. Listen to joyful music. Write a story of what you want said at your funeral service.