Monday, February 2, 2015
(From the book Pause: The Secret to a Better Life, One Word at a Time by Chris Maxwell)
https://www.amazon.com/Pause-Secret-Better-Life-Word/dp/1935769332/ref=asap_B009R9GP86?ie=UTF8
I know. It isn’t easy. Adding another relationship, another duty, another task, another anything to an already-too-busy-life never is. We live in a fast-paced world with hardly any available minutes to enjoy the friendships we already have. So meeting people for the first time and choosing to invest ourselves—time, energy, conversation, care—is difficult because we have little energy left in our account.
But it’s worth the effort.
When we are willing to notice, to care, to listen, we might be adding a key piece to our life’s puzzle: a new friend.
Let each of us choose to meet a new friend this week. Smile and say hello. Grab a moment. Give a little time, a little kindness, a little eye contact.
Someone just might be kind toward you one day when you need it most.
This chapter of Pause really stood out to me. It is so easy to only say hi, but never stop to care. It is easy to to ask how someone is doing, but never stop long enough for the real answer. It seems that we are so willing to have the Facebook idea of a friend, but never the true friend that is closer to us than our family. This chapter is a challenge to me to truly take the time to care about others and not just be another person in the crowd.
This is definitely something I struggle with. I always feel so busy, but as Max said in class, we make time for the things we want to do. That just means that I have to make even the smallest of relationships something I truly want.
Adding a friend to my life seems like a big task, yet it is simple. It seems like something difficult because I am content with the friends I have in my life. I am a person who normally smiles at others and tells them hey even if i don’t know them. However I believe I need to go farther sometimes and get to know someone better. Who knows God could use me to help someone in need. In order for me to be more Christ-like I believe the Lord wants me to get to know someone instead of just saying hey.
When I read this chapter, I thought about the people I see every day on campus. Being at such a small school, I know many people by name, but I don’t truly “know” them. It’s amazing how many people we pass by every day and we don’t even speak to them. I know that I’ve done this before. I’m running late to class and I can’t find the 10 seconds to stop and just say hello. If we never stop to speak to someone, we might never get to know their story. When it comes to adding someone else new to our lives, it can have a positive effect on our lives. Just by adding a new person in our life, we might find someone to be an encouragement when we are having a bad day. This person can even someone that you are able to share your heart with on a daily basis. This is something that I’ve learned since I’ve been at Emmanuel. It was hard letting new people in. After I let them in, I was able to share my heart and learn about their story as well.
I actually met a new friend yesterday. We ate breakfast together and spoke about the great and many works God had done for us, as well as how we ended up at Emmanuel College. I had never been so open to sharing testimony with someone I knew very little, but yet, it felt right and natural, like this is what I should be doing with all; sharing my testimony, exclaiming what God has done for me. God is going to put people in my life for different reasons. Let me not be the reason why I miss out on a great adventure with a new friend.
About a year ago, this post would have put me off completely. I wasn’t a kind person in general. I was closed off. I loved my circle but I hated my circle getting any larger than it was. Throughout the past year though, I’ve come to see the value in simply loving people as it is a service unto Jesus Himself. I care about people now. I want to smile and say hello. I want to know their stories and hear their hopes. I want to connect and to grow together. Expanded community is so important and risky and unsafe and exciting and rewarding.
I would say this is a hard point for me. Not that I don’t like people, but I have a hard time initiating these kinds of conversations and encounters. I like meeting new people, I just do not like the initial meeting part and the awkwardness of not knowing who the person is or what their views are on certain topics. God is teaching me that it is okay to be uncomfortable. My comfort can sometimes hinder me from being available for God to use me. If I am always comfortable, then I probably am not being used by God as much as I could be. So in this, I am learning that being uncomfortable just comes with the territory and that every meaningful relationship I have ever had started out with that same sense. So what is going to be my next meaningful relationship and what relationships have I pushed aside because of my need to feel comfortable?
I couldn’t believe it when I read this chapter, because this past weekend, for the first time in a long time I made a new friend. I tend to get too comfortable in my own friendship group, and don’t actively seek out new relationships because I don’t enjoy being vulnerable. But making a new friend this past weekend reminded me of how much of a blessing friendships can be, how other people can be put in our lives by God, when we need them the most, or when they need us. Making new friends is so important if we really truly hold the desire to see other people meet Jesus. I am excited to actively pursue new friendships and see what God does with them.
I really enjoyed this chapter. I really needed it. I am in such a critical part of life right now, I must find ways to make sure people are all around me. Naturally I’m introverted and would rather never be around anyone. People drain me. Although I can be as outgoing as I need to be in certain situations, I would rather not speak. This chapter challenges that default inside of me that causes me to retract away from friendships. I need more friendships and I know it. This semester, one of my goals is to develop new, healthy friendships. Even if it means I’m uncomfortable at first.
I love people. I love people’s story’s.
I am being challenged in this area of my life altogether. I would usually argue that I don’t have time, but after hearing from Max–I do have time I’ve just got to make the most of it. Going on my Race, I am going to meet so many new people, not just my squadmates, but people from all of the nations I will be traveling to. I can hardly wait to start lifetime friendships with those across the world!
While I was reading this chapter I thought about the past couple of weeks and realized that I have made a couple of new friends. I realized that meeting them wasn’t just something that happened but something that was supposed to happen. They are not much younger than me so they can talk to me about getting through high school and about starting college. One of my new friends, we can spend a couple of hours just talking on Skype just about ever night. This also came to my mind when Max was talking about how “I don’t have time is the lamest excuse ever” cause I always seemed to say that I don’t have much time cause I have so much other stuff to do but I still end up talking to her for a couple of hours and I don’t mind that much at all. I really enjoy taking the time to just talk to her and relax some from school.
I am a people person without a doubt. I love building relationships and bringing smiles to people’s faces. I am an introvert who turns into an extroverted person when I get to know you. I think I have added the most people to my life ever in my junior year at college. But during this year, I have learned that before I am called to ADD people to my life, I am called to make Jesus not an addition to my life but the answer. Then, I know God will lead me in this spiritual math equation to add the right people to my life. This is the one time in life you know the final solution, you just have to find the variables.
This speaks volume! Saying there isn’t enough time or I don’t have enough time is just a flat out lie. Like Max said it’s lame. You make time. Its all a matter of how much that one thing means to you. It’s all a matter of how much God means to you, your friends, your family, your career, your health. You make or put in the time that you feel is important for each thing. You only say you don’t have time for the things that matter least in your life. I was able to take more than five things away from Max the other day but i’m only going to write down the ones that i thought were most important to me. The first one was God has an echo. If he wants you to do something you’ll hear it through various different things not just his voice. The other point was the only thing that can kill Gods dream for you is you. Another was be ready for his opportunities. Also God is our limitless energy. Then finally discipline yourself to practice Gods presence. For all these thing it takes time to Pause, slow down, and make the time you need to hear, feel, and sense what God wants you to.
Coming from the receiving end of this task, my world is truly rocked when someone stops to ask how I am doing and not just what I am doing. In a culture so bent on productivity and task management as a college campus usually is we can get so caught up in the project and miss the person. There is something so life-giving about making and maintaining eye contact with someone and staying put as they answer the question of “How are you?”. I think that is the biggest thing I need to add in relationships with other people, actually being present in conversations and not fast forwarding to the next impending task.
I enjoy meeting new people. I do. However I keep them at an arms length. I am aquatinces with so many people however there are few people that I would actually consider good friends. I am in the process of beginning a new friendship that I see lasting a long time. I am excited about it because I did not know it was possible before this semester. I didn’t know her well and I felt like our paths would never cross. However. We are so much alike that I could really see us being friends for a long time. Also, I want to better not just have a ton of a aquatinces but meaningful friendships and relationships.
This chapter really hits home for me. It’s easy for me to pass someone everyday, smile in their direction, say “hi!” and maybe even give a little wave, but actually building relationships is a completely different story. Though many times I see opportunities, I do not take them. I convince myself I’m in a hurry, or if I’m not, the other person is sure to be. This chapter reiterates what I have been recently learning about stepping out of my comfortable group of friends. I want to take every opportunity I have been given to learn about people and their stories. I am blessed with such an incredible community and I don’t want to look back with regrets—regrets that I didn’t love people or take the time to show that love. Yes, it is scary to step out, but there is power in community and I want to be apart of that.
I’m definitely a people person and I think this chapter goes hand in hand with what Max talked to us about making time for things. We make time for things or people in our lives that are important to us. So if we really want to add a new friend to our lives, we will make time for them. It’s such an important task to show community and to befriend new people, especially those who may not have anyone in their lives that they can rely on. We don’t realize when we pass someone how much a simple “hello” or “smile” can mean to them.
this is something i really enjoy. i honestly love to sit down with random people and having a conversation. i love building new friendships, because that means new stories and new perspectives of life that i probably would’ve never thought of.i have a lot of aquatintes . i have many friends and a good amount of close friends. i try to get to know everyone i come in contact with on a least a ground level. their name where they are from stuff like that.
I love people. Meeting them and hearing their stories. For me it is a little difficult to go deeper than surface level with people. I think it goes back to my trust issues, but God is working with me through that. People are coming into my life that I know will be there for a long time. Its excited to know Im not alone. God is also weeding out the people who are draining. Helping me to better understand my role in their life. Im beginning to step out of my comfort zone and react out to people. Ive also been told I have a contagious personality and now its time to start using that to reach people for Christ and meet those friends who will be there for a life time!
Making new friends has been a natural thing for me at my time here at EC. But it hasn’t always been easy. i grew up in a high school where everyone seemed self-centered and unapproachable. During my first week at EC, i experienced more people saying hello and interested in me than i experienced in my whole high school life. Its a trait that i immediately picked up and worked on hard, and i try to get better at it each and every day.
Making friends has always been easy for me. Currently, I’ve been thinking about the types of friendships that I do have with people. Because I’m such a people person, making friends is always enjoyable but knowing who to fully trust is an entirely different game. As I’ve gotten older, I have realized the importance of true friendships- and also the difference between friends and acquaintances. Currently, I’m praying that God will help change my perspective in meeting new people and also helping me maintain the current friendships that I have.
Having spiritual friends has always been a huge part of my walk, so I have always had a handful of extremely close friends that are like brothers. However, God is still dealing with me on loving others as he does. I know that I cannot have 100 best friends, but I can invest a lot of time in a few people. I am growing into showing love to everyone and not just my closest friends.
This post really spoke to me. I’ve been thinking about people who have come in and out of my life recently. Everyone I interact with has had an impact on my life, whether it’s positive or negative. That being said, I do not regret any relationship I hve formed, even if that relationship is no longer thriving. People are so quick to make shallow friends because it’s much easier than revealing what’s actually going on inside your mind. I know it’s that way for me. It comes natural to smile and say hello to people, but I don’t actually get to know them beyond their name. Skimming the surface can get kind of boring, right? I would like to dig a little deeper.
I honestly fill like i should invest more in less people so i can be more impactful in their lives. Instead of talking to 50 people a day and always being drained but just really appreciating more of my close relationships. Being an extravert i tend to forget about my close relationships because I’m always hanging out with all kinds of different people. So i really need to work on investing in certain people in my life.
Unlike most, i love meeting new people. i love taking the time to get to know them, their stories, their likes and dislikes. I’ve traveled across the country for the past two years now for spring break and something i do everywhere i go is people watch. i love seeing different people and knowing their backgrounds and seeing how God is as much apart of their lives as he is mine, even on the other side of the country.
This chapter is challenging to me. It is hard for me to make one on one contact with someone. It is something that I need God to help me with. Although one on one contact makes me nervous, I can get in front of 1000 people and speak with no problem. However, I am going to rely on God, and step out of my comfort zone. My new goal this year is to start “Adding.”
I am a Resident Assistant for Emmanuel College. My whole purpose of my job is to make new friends and develop a community. When building friendships, it does take more dedication and time. But, relationships is all about commitment and growing to know someone in a deeper way. The greatest things in life are not easy, or they would not be the greatest things. I have learned that when I sacrifice my time and pour it into others, then I will gain more than what I had from the beginning. It is within community I learn more about God, and I desire to dwell in that place. God is in the midst of community, for the Holy Trinity is built in community.
This chapter really hits home at this season of my life. I enjoy making new friends and meeting people from various backgrounds. However, I often make excuses to avoid making new friendships. If It think that I don’t have time to go more than “surface deep” with someone I don’t like to start a new friendship. I need to stop assuming I know God’s plan for my interaction with that person and be more open to building lasting relationships.
For someone who is involved with multiple campus activities, time is a scarce thing. And for someone who tends to be more of an introvert and needs that time alone, it’s even more valuable. I think it becomes so easy to forget that we don’t live this life as a competition for how many things we can accomplish, but rather the quality of the things we do. And for me, meeting new people is something I do because it’s my job, but trusting people and getting close to people is another thing. I think it’s very needed to take a step back sometimes and seek out those people that will be someone to invest time and energy in, and then understand that they might be willing to invest time and energy back into you. Investing in someone isn’t always a loss, and can be one of the most rewarding things of all.
I love meeting new people and As Miss Emmanuel this year, I feel like it’s part of my job to reach out to freshman and be a friend. I try my best to smile, ask them how they are and if they need anything but I often get caught up in my busy schedule that I don’t make time to really invest and pour into their lives. This chapter made me realize I need to be doing just that. To have good conversations with new friends but to also let them know that I’m here if they need anything.
The last sentence about being kind to people really stuck out to me. I know that to often when I’m having a bad day I tend to snap and be rude to people instead of taking the time just to love on them. This chapter makes me want to work on intentional kindness, on doing something nice for someone even when I don’t feel like it, when I may not notice that they need a friend.
Balancing seems to be a problem for me sometimes. I have to balance school, work, church, and my personal life. At times, it seems as if I am running out of patience. This was very helpful to me and my situation. The passage 1 John 4:7-8 was my rock this time when I was trying to balance all of these things. It is nice to know that God balances us all of the time.
I enjoyed the application of this chapter because it has caused me to learn more about my self and others, in addition to helping me grow socially, and enjoy life just a little bit more. I recently used a few opportunities to develop a deeper relationship with some of my peers who I commonly say “Hi and Bye” to. Although these were quick conversations, they’ve become more frequent and life enhancing. For me adding is helping me fulfil my desire for deeper community.
As I read through this chapter my eyes were really opened to how one should add others to their friends list no matter how busy we are. I have always said to “smile because you never know when your smile could change a life.” In todays society we are always busy running and doing when we should be stopping to look around us and notice others. Asking others how they are, how they’ve been, if they need anything, and most importantly just showing them Gods love through you. I know I am just as guilty as the person next to me when it comes to getting caught up in life and the craziness of the world. I have to make time to stop and see others and make it a point to acknowledge them. You never know what someone is going through and your kind words could save them.