What situations have caused you grief? What is your initial response? If you often hold too tightly to those who have left, what do you think is the reason? What steps would you recommend to yourself about moving forward? What might be holding you back? What can you do to no longer stay in an unhealthy place? Where is Jesus in your story?
This process of writing and listening and remembering helped me find a balanced approach in the uneven surfaces of grief. Pains from the past do not have to control our present lives or today’s situations.
- Welcome grief as a healthy process.
The Bible tells us Jesus wept. His closing confession or prayer or reflection on the cross was from our Psalm 22—did He learn that poetic prayer as a child? Do not deny your sadness or avoid conversations about who or what you have lost. Welcome the time when everything seems out of balance. Because, in many ways, it is.
- Welcome the right people to help you through that process.
Though no one can relate exactly to how you feel, welcome the right people to join you during this time. Yes, though you do need time alone, do not allow yourself to always be alone. Spend time with the right people. This doesn’t always need to be deep conversations. Just time together, until you are ready to talk.
- Welcome unexpected times for grief to reappear.
Do not expect grief to end a certain way on a specific date. It might lighten, then return stronger and more painful. Receive grief as a process, a journey, an adventure. Receive grief as therapy. Journal your thoughts. Contact a counselor or friend. Pray. Realize your life is on uneven surfaces and that God is with you in the grieving. Also remember that grief does not only occur after the death of someone you love. It can be related to a drastic change of a person, a situation, yourself, or life in general. Again, find the right people to talk to.