(This is week two of our emphasis on various examples of spiritual beliefs, awareness, and personal growth. We are emphasizing community. Too many people live in isolation. Other people are too dependent on the opinions of others. But true community includes healthy relationships. It refuses to live life alone. As Clarke Sowell writes, “We need each other.” Read this and ask, “How am I pursuing healthy Community?”)
Community: Have you ever had the, “I’m too young to feel this old” moment? It’s never fun. You think you can handle staying up late, but the next day you check your face for tire tracks thinking you’ve been run over.
Life can do that to us can’t it? A responsibility here; a task that overwhelms us there, and eventually we ask ourselves why we didn’t just stay home on and binge watch The Office. The spiritual discipline of community helps us overcome this struggle. No. I’m not telling you spending time with people fixes everything, but it does make life more manageable.
Being alone isn’t necessarily a problem, but staying alone always is. The more self-aware I get, the more I just have to laugh at myself. If someone tries to push me out into an experience where I’ll be around people, I typically push back and have a borderline identity crisis. I think I belong alone and people just don’t get me. What I’m really struggling with in those moments are insecurities and pride-wondering if I’ll be accepted. So, I sigh, I dig my feet in the ground, and I hermit right there. What makes absolutely no sense though is whenever I find myself in community organically and through my own volition, I love it. I end up being myself, I have a good time, and I realize my island of safety is really a trap set to steal my joy that I willingly walk into time and again.
Something so freeing about being around other people is realizing you’re not alone. Duh, right? But there’s more to it than that. A lot of times we isolate ourselves not only when we aren’t around people, but when we are. We do this judging ourselves assuming we are the only one who deals with what we’re going through. We unknowingly convince ourselves that no one will truly accept us if they get to know the “us” we’d rather keep hidden away on our island of safety. When we finally feel safe enough to introduce our peers to the “us” we’ve been hiding, it’s so liberating. The competition we’ve created is over. And typically, we see that fear and isolation has caused our internal judge to grow our struggles completely out of proportions to their real level of importance.
The Bible gives us an image for believers across the globe. It says that though we may be separated geographically, we are all members of one body. Tell me, what body part can be removed and still make a real contribution to the body? What good is your arm if you cut it off and leave it at home when you go to work? A lot of us face the world as that severed arm-never allowing ourselves to be connected to what will ultimately multiply our effectiveness and impact-other people. Maybe we are so tired and beaten down because one arm was never meant to be enough.
Personally, I had to learn this lesson the hard way. Isolation, individualism, and independence—these all start with I. We cling to those things that put us first don’t we? That’s what I did. I had to be first. Every time I went to do something, it was all about me. Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I strong enough? How will I be benefitted from serving this person? How will I be elevated to the dreams I have when I do this task that I don’t really want to do? It was a hard realization to have, but my anxiety and fear had a lot to do with focusing entirely too much on myself.
A lot of breakthrough happens when we practice the spiritual discipline of community. Community happens not simply when we’re ourselves around other people, but also when we encourage, uplift, and strengthen others. We start by being ourselves, but then we look outwardly—to those around us in need. We look for ways to help and fill the need. Do they need encouragement? We meet them there. Do they need advice? We give it, but we’ll take it too. In doing so, we bear one another’s burdens. We offer help to those who’ve been carrying more than they’re able to manage.
If we’re quick to help our wounded bodies, shouldn’t we be quick to help our neighbors as well? The next time you see someone hurting, remember the injury that stopped you. Compared to the whole body a knee is a small thing, but let it get injured and it will stop you in your tracks. Those around us are as significant whether we’d like to acknowledge it or not.
Ultimately, community is really very simple. Genuine people coming together and caring for one another. Let’s not complicate it anymore. We need each other.
There was many great things in here. I related a lot to staying isolated from others and worrying about what others think of me. Also, makes me a little anxious to be around a lot of people at one time. I found a lot of joy staying in and binge watch things on Netflix but now I am a little more outgoing just because of who I hang out with now. I still have days where I just want to isolate myself and sty away from people but those days are becoming less. In the end the people I hang with now, I know care for me somewhat now.
I absolutely understand and relate to this entirely. I love being at home cleaning the house and getting things done, on a Saturday there seems to be a feeling of relief knowing that I don’t have anywhere to go or anything to do but catch up on the never ending cycle of housework. I am a substitute teacher and over this last summer I took classes online and I had a work study job that I worked minimum hours and those few hours I spent away from home and realized how much I enjoyed helping people and feeling like I was being a productive member of society. I had went from working and going to class 5 days a week to online classes and 10 hours a week of outside interaction. I started to feel like something was missing. I found myself getting more easily frustrated, I realized that I was started to go stir crazy especially because I have a 6 year old daughter who also was lacking the day to day social interaction she was use to during the school week. Instead of enjoying my summer, I counted the days until I could get back to feeling like life was more full again for both of us. The first day of classes, I felt so relieved to be back on campus and be surrounded with by other students and my first day back as a substitute I was so excited. I have never had a problem with being alone, but being cooped up inside with a 6 year old wore me out mentally and physically. As a single mom, things became so much harder to try to get anything done the more “bored” she became. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed spending that time with her but all parents have to have a healthy amount of being away from their kids from time to time. Now that school has started back for both of us, I love when she comes home and tells me about her day. She is such a sweet child and I know she has a positive influence on her classmates. I run into other moms and they say “aren’t you Katie’s mom?” and they tell me how much their child adores mine, as a mother, nothing makes me more proud to hear those moms say that. As for myself, I have always been a people person and this past summer has made me realize how much I enjoy shining my light to those that need it. As a substitute teacher, I lead by example and if I see a child being picked on or struggling with their work, it is in those moments that I can shine a light for them and let them know that they are not alone. No one should ever feel like they are alone in any situation and although sometimes it is good to take time to ourselves but only in moderation. God shines through us, so I encourage everyone to go out in the world and shine bright.. it’s kind of like the question “if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?” You may have the brightest light to shine, but if you are sitting on your couch.. who will see it?