From Equilibrium: 31 Ways to Stay Balanced on Life’s Uneven Surfaces.
What situations have caused you grief? What is your initial response? If you often hold too tightly to those who have left, what do you think is the reason? What steps would you recommend to yourself about moving forward? What might be holding you back? What can you do to no longer stay in an unhealthy place? Where is Jesus in your story?
This process of writing and listening and remembering helped me find a balanced approach in the uneven surfaces of grief. Pains from the past do not have to control our present lives or today’s situations.
- Welcome grief as a healthy process.
The Bible tells us Jesus wept. His closing confession or prayer or reflection on the cross was from our Psalm 22—did He learn that poetic prayer as a child? Do not deny your sadness or avoid conversations about who or what you have lost. Welcome the time when everything seems out of balance. Because, in many ways, it is.
- Welcome the right people to help you through that process.
Though no one can relate exactly to how you feel, welcome the right people to join you during this time. Yes, though you do need time alone, do not allow yourself to always be alone. Spend time with the right people. This doesn’t always need to be deep conversations. Just time together, until you are ready to talk.
- Welcome unexpected times for grief to reappear.
Do not expect grief to end a certain way on a specific date. It might lighten, then return stronger and more painful. Receive grief as a process, a journey, an adventure. Receive grief as therapy. Journal your thoughts. Contact a counselor or friend. Pray. Realize your life is on uneven surfaces and that God is with you in the grieving. Also remember that grief does not only occur after the death of someone you love. It can be related to a drastic change of a person, a situation, yourself, or life in general. Again, find the right people to talk to.
What this blog means to me is hard to understand. In my life I have lost people and been to funerals, but it was a celebration of life. For example, last October I had to go home for my great Grandma’s funeral. She was 89, and yes it was sad to have her gone, but at the same time, I was able to have a great Grandma for 20 years of my life. Some people don’t even have regular grandparents for that long, and it was easier to look at it as a blessing. However I also know that her passing hit others harder than it hit me, and I think grief can be a good thing and a good step in the process of learning how to cope with it.
I think as a Christian, it can sometimes feel like we are not allowed to grieve or that it is a bad emotion. I know I have heard so many times, ” oh, you should just be happy they are in heaven,” or that you are just supposed to have the joy of the Lord and not be so sad, but as this blog points out, it is not bad to feel those emotions, and it is good to know how to feel them and work through them in a heathy way. I think a big part of that is having good, strong friends to walk alongside you in these situations.
Throughout my life, I have had people that were close to me pass and it caused me a lot of pain, but I was able to accept it and feel better because of my close friends and family that were there with me every step of the healing process. Sometimes I feel as though people move on too quickly by just saying “they’re in heaven so they’re in a better place”. While yes, this is true and does make me happy to know, if you don’t experience and feel the feelings that you do have, it can be unhealthy and could ultimately come out later in the future much worse.
I think the topic of grief is very interesting. We all know that we will have to understand and feel this emotion. yet, we seem to avoid it at nearly all costs. Leaving ourselves even more vulnerable to the side effects that can come when we do not grieve in a healthy manner. because of this, to properly be able to grieve the big moments like losing a loved one, we must also utilize our ability to grieve over smaller things. the saying don’t cry over spilled milk seems to put this false narrative society often portrays that you shouldn’t cry. So, I think instead you should cry over spilled milk, but only for a time so that later on you will understand how to properly express grief when it truly matters.
I think grief can be a beautiful thing. It is a benefit to ourselves to process and do it in many ways. I do believe we should do it in a healthy way though. I think we should let our feelings out. Let people be there for us. And welcome the expectedness.
Grief is such a hard topic. I think it is good that we can normalize talking about grief and how it affects us. Although going through loose is very sad, it can also help us become closer to our love ones. Which I think is very special.
Grief is a topic that I do not want to think about right now. With everything that is going on with my grandfather’s health, it is hard to think that my grief might be closer than I would like it to be. As hard as it is to think about, I am going to have to extend myself some grace and allow myself to process that reality when the time comes. It is okay to let people help to “hold me up” every once in a while.
I believe grief is part of life. We are blind on how to overcome it until we are faced with it. Grief is difficult to overcome because it affects a deep sense of loss. It can trigger a wide range of intense emotions and physical symptoms and can leave us feeling overwhelmed and unsure about the future. Praying in God I feel helped in managing grief by providing comfort, hope, and a sense of purpose. I know the Christian community offers support, and comfort, and gives me a sense of belonging during difficult times, which can be helpful in handling grief.
Grief is an interesting subject. Personally I don’t know that I have experienced true grief yet because I have not had someone close to be pass away and I pray that that does not happen for a long while. But I think it is important to talk through that all consuming emotion because if you keep it inside it can swallow you whole.
Grief is a hard emotion to deal with wether you are going through it yourself or watching someone close to you deal with it. Knowing steps to take when going through greif can help you from feeling lost or stuck in the grief. I believe it is important to have someone you can talk to when going through these emotions. If you don’t allow yourself to talk to someone those emotions can become bottled up and can create a worse situation.
Grief was something I had struggled with my whole life. It was not a problem of understanding, but a problem of expressing. I have always had a hard time of expressing what I was feeling in times of loss. I used to bottle it up but I never let it out until it was too late. When that happened, it only caused harm. With the recent loss in my family, I have become familiar with grief once again. However, I am trying to welcome the help of those around me even if it is against my natural habits.