this march reminds me of that march.
the month my mind changed.
the month my brain weakened.
the month my world shifted.
the month my life switched.
i don’t remember all the moments.
memories are fog,
broken pieces,
puzzle parts lost.
i remember many of
the moments.
and the consequences.
the feelings?
a stranger in my own skin.
a different man waking up
inside me.
they tell me i almost died.
that my brain swelled.
that i lost so much.
but i lived.
in most ways,
i lived.
family stayed.
friends prayed.
faith held me.
faith, though
full of questions,
was, and is,
belief in the One
Who held me.
life wasn’t the same.
words disappeared.
thoughts scattered.
speech therapy.
rehab. medication.
resting, yet never
really resting.
they say i laughed less.
cried more.
speaking shifted.
moods changed.
i didn’t notice at first,
but i knew something
was missing.
someone was missing.
me.
i was missing.
long-term memory
slipping, slipping, slipping.
short-term memory
a battle every day.
names, people, places,
events lost in the haze.
but eventually
i read again.
spoke again.
thought again.
remembered again—
not as before,
much differently,
but a move forward.
toward something
and somewhere,
eventually moving.
change didn’t ask permission.
it arrived uninvited,
demanding surrender,
declaring reality.
but in the loss,
i found new life.
a different life, yes,
but a life still.
still living.
still learning.
still breathing.
still believing.
still learning to adjust.
this march reminds me
of that march.
of pain, yes.
of loss, yes.
but also of hope.
of healing.
of the hands that held me.
the God who never left me.
i guess, some types of strength,
or strengths,
actually do come
in weaknesses.
arriving there and then,
or being known better
there, then.
that month of march,
in that town,
during that year,
changed every future march
i face,
in each town,
during each year,
i march on.
not alone,
new.
not only
remember so much lost,
but rejoicing in
this month,
this march,
this me
made new.
*In march 1996 Chris was hospitalized with encephalitis, from which God graciously gave him a new life.
Beautiful. I did not know Chris 1.0, but I deeply love my friend, Chris 2.0.
I think your story is a beautiful testimony of how something so detrimental can bring strength and hope. I love how instead of viewing what happened during this time in a negative light, you wrote talking about how you can rejoice in this month. This makes me reflect on things that have happened in my life and reminds me to look at the beauty in things. What a great reminder of how blessed we are to have a God that never left you and wont leave me.
Thank you, Pastor Chris, for sharing some of your testimony. As you share your story, God is glorified. I do not believe that anything that happened was a coincidence. I love that you give Him all the glory for your healing and saving. It is so evident that He was right there beside you. This is what true “strength in weakness” looks like. I cannot imagine what you went through, but I know that it is inspiring. I love how you compared this march to that march, but still noted that you “march on.” There is definitely power in your story because it shows that God really does continue to do miracles!
This is truly a great testimony as it is a reminder to see the beauty in life no matter what the circumstances.
This was very encouraging to read. Amidst suffering and trials, you focused on your faith in God, the One who is in control and loves you. As I read this, I am reminded of James 1: 2-4, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” From your testimony, your faith grew and you did gain endurance through this difficult time.
I think this story is so powerful and emotional. It shows how a difficult experience completely changed your life, but through faith, support, and perseverance, you found hope and a new way of living. It’s a reminder that even in deep struggles, growth and healing are possible.
This march or this moment in time is a season of deep emotion where it may feel as If life is driving oneself instead of oneself driving life. These feelings are valid and completely humane, but to say this is not life would be untrue. The ability to feel or express emotion is one of the most beautiful aspects of life, and it is one of the traits which, as humans, bring us closer to one another. Humans are creatures of connection and relativity, as we are created under God’s light, and expression of emotion or embracement of emotion is a part of life which allows us to become closer with those around us.
This is a beautiful testimony. There are things in life that remind of our struggle seasons in life.
Your words are very moving, It brings up much to reflect upon, you’ve done so well, but from me that doesn’t mean much, all that really matters is that you believe it.
I really enjoyed reading this because so often we get caught up in life and forget to fully embrace how lucky we are to be where we at. Life goes by so fast, so it is easy to go along with it, but it is up to us to slow down and enjoy the moment. Whatever season were in or whatever were going through, there’s a reason, and God is by our side through every single step.
Thank you for sharing this Pastor Chris! I admire your vulnerability and the way you share your story for the goodness of God. You are so encouraging, and your story holds so much power! Truly so blessed to know you and be in your class! I think the way we are able to feel two emotions at once is mind blowing. The way we can feel grief, yet joy. It really speaks to the depths of the life we are given.